Good morning. I'm Patrick, I'm an alcoholic. My sobriety birthday is November 28th, 2021. I've got a home group, it's the Winter Circle at Suburban North Club. I've got a sponsor, his name is Mark. I was packing yesterday to come here, and my wife, you know, this is always a weekend where soccer is starting for the kids, and it's always busy, and um I'm always here. And um she has her own feelings and thoughts on that, which is perfectly fine. Um I'm packing and and you know, I have my suit that I'm packing, and she said, Well, why are you bringing the suit? And I said, Well, I'm I'm presenting step seven. And uh she said, Well, what what step is that? And I said, uh, humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings. And uh she said, Well, how long do you have to speak? And I said, uh, 10 to 12 minutes, and she said, uh, sweetheart, that is not gonna be enough time. Um if you'll please uh join me for the serenity prayer and then we'll get started. God, uh, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Um I've got a phone, I don't have a timer set, um I've had a pretty crazy 24 hours. Um I'm gonna talk for a little bit, and um, if I go too long, kick me off stage. Um step seven, um humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings. Um this is one of the shortest steps. Um I think it asked me to do something incredibly difficult. Um, it wants me to admit that I complete I cannot completely change myself by myself. When I first looked at the step, um it sounded extremely passive. I thought I wondered, you know, do I just ask God to remove my defects? You know, then what happens? Um But I really don't think it's passive at all, right? It's a program of action. Um, it requires honesty and surrender and patience and faith. And um, like Todd had mentioned before, you know, in the rooms, you know, this is this and step six are the steps that separate the men from the boys. Um it asks whether I'm entirely ready to have God remove all my defects of character. Um I actually willing to open my hands and ask my higher power to do that. Right? Um I think there's a big difference between knowing what is wrong with me, um wanting it to change, and then actually like surrendering that. Um I've gotten pretty good at identifying my shortcomings. Um I know when I'm being controlling, I know when pride is driving my action, I know when I'm resentful and dishonest and fearful and selfish and all the things, right? Um, the question for me is like, am I really willing to let those things go? My worst shortcomings, um, they've usually done something for me, right? I mean, control has made me feel safe. Um, pride has kept me from feeling inadequate. You know, dishonesty has helped me avoid consequences. Um isolation protects me from any rejection. Um resentment's my favorite, right? It's allowed me to judge and excuse my behavior no matter what. Um you know, these things they eventually become disruptive destructive, but at some point they've all felt really useful. Um, I think that's why letting go of them can be difficult. I I'm not simply surrendering my bad behavior, right? I'm surrendering the strategies I've used to protect myself. Um I think it's a really good place to start with fear, right? I um page 76 in the 12 and 12 states that the chief activator of all my defects have been self-centered fear, primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Fear that I won't get what I need, fear that I'll lose what I already have, um, fear that people will discover I'm not as confident or capable as I appear. Like God forbid, right? Um fear that if I stop controlling everything, my life will fall apart. Um fear tells me that everything depends on me. And it's in this step that faith reminds me that it doesn't. You know, fear says, take control. Faith says, do the next right thing and trust God with the outcome. Like, what was that? Fear says, protect yourself at all costs, and faith says, you know, you can tell the truth. Um fear says, don't let anyone see my weakness, and faith says, you don't have to do this alone. Um fear says, what if God doesn't take care of me? What if he doesn't take care of me? And faith says, what if, or what if he will? Right? Um the 12 and 12 connects humility with the ability to call upon faith when adversity comes. And um, you know, guys, I I may say that I believe in a higher power, um, but man, I can still live trying to control everything, right? Every person, every circumstance, every outcome. Um, you know, it's funny, the 12 and 12 explains this idea of you know my higher power being an emergency backup plan. You know, he's a uh he's a bush-leak pinch hitter. Right? I call him in when I really, really need him. Um but you know, step seven, it really invites me into a different relationship with God. Um instead of asking God to help me run my life according to my plan, I ask him to change me so I can live according to his. Like what a concept, right? And what does that take? That takes faith. Not hope, faith. Um, you know, faith doesn't mean that I'll never experience fear. Um, but man, I can be afraid and still trust. You know, I can be uncertain and still move forward. Um, I can be disappointed when I don't get my way, and I can still believe that God is present. I can admit that I do not know what's going to happen without trying to control everyone around me. Um I love the word humbly in this step. You know, I think it's, you know, for a long time I thought I thought humility meant, you know, thinking less of myself. And, you know, it meant shame and weakness and putting myself beneath everyone else. And um, you know, humility is not humiliation. Um God, it's seeing myself accurately. I um, guys, I'm not the worst person in the world, and I'm not the center of the world. I have strengths and I have shortcomings. Um, I'm responsible for my actions, but I need help becoming the man that God intended me to be. Humility is the ability to say, I don't have all the answers. Um, I can't control everything. I've been wrong. I've been wrong a million times. I'm afraid. And man, I need help. Um and it's at this point, you know, can I ask God, you know, hey, I am willing to let you change me? Um, I have learned in my drinking, you know, to solve problems and stay in control and hide all the fear and all the stuff, right? And you know, that attitude, it helped me survive, you know, certain parts of my life. Um but God had also kept me really sick. Um the step asked me to discover a different kind of strength, right? The strength to become honest and vulnerable, teachable, dependent on something greater than myself. So it asked, it asked me to ask God to remove my shortcomings. Um it doesn't say that I demand he remove them immediately. God knows it's got not gonna be according to my timetable, right? I want it now. Um, you know, I'm an alcoholic. I I might pray for patience in the morning, still find myself impatient the same afternoon. Um ask God to remove resentment, and I'll wake up thinking about the same damn person the next morning. You know? Um fear wants to tell me that nothing is changing and this isn't working. You know, faith in this step tells me, you know, keep showing up, keep surrendering, and let God determine the pace. Sometimes God removes things quickly and sometimes he removes it slowly. Sometimes he allows me to keep seeing the shortcoming because the process of working through it is teaching me humility. You know, maybe the real change is that I recognize it sooner. Umbe I become willing to admit it. You know, maybe I pause before acting on it. Not great at it, but maybe I apologize more quickly. Maybe the shortcoming, it still appears, but it no longer controls my decisions the way that it once did. Right? Practice, not perfection. So what I found is I found my my responsibility is not to perform surgery on my own character, right? That's not what this is about. My responsibility is to remain willing, to ask for help, and to take the next right action. That's it. If I ask God to remove all my selfishness, I should look for opportunity to serve someone. Right? If I ask him to remove my dishonesty, I need to tell the truth when it actually costs me something. If I ask him to remove resentment, I need to pray for the other person. Or I should make amends. Action, right? If I ask him to remove the fear, I still have to take the next faithful step when I'm afraid. God does the transforming, but I have to participate in that transformation, guys. Fear tells me that if people see who I really am, they will reject me. Faith tells me that I can step into the light and find some grace. It invites me to bring all my shortcomings into the presence of God, right? And it's it's not to feel condemned or feel shame about any of this stuff. You know, it's so he can change me. I ask for help because I am incapable of doing this alone. Those are tough words to say. For me, step seven has become kind of the simple daily practice, right? You know, what am I holding on to today? What am I afraid of? Where am I trying to control? All these things that belong to God, not to me. You know, then I then I can ask God to remove whatever's preventing me from being useful to Him and to the people around me. This is not about me, my life. It does not revolve around me. You know, if fear is telling me to hide, I, you know, faith means being honest. If fear tells me to isolate, maybe faith means I should probably pick up the phone and call another alcoholic. If fear tells me to obsess over the outcome, maybe faith means focusing only on the next right action. Then I can sit down at night and think, you know, where did fear run my life today, right? Where did I choose faith over fear? Did God help me respond differently? I need to surrender. Step seven is not about becoming perfect for me, guys. I I love it. It's it's about becoming available. Available to God, available to other people, available to live a life that is no longer organized around fear, ego, resentment, and self-pity. That's it. I don't think the goal of this step is to reach a point where I can say I have no shortcomings left, right? The goal is for me to recognize them, surrender them, and become less willing to let them run my life. Today I can ask God for the willingness. I can trust him with the change in the pace. I can practice the behavior of the man I'm asking him to help me become. You know, maybe that's the heart of the step, right? I stop asking God merely to make my life easier, and I begin asking him to make me more useful. I stop asking him to change everyone around me, and I invite him to begin with me. I uh I stop allowing fear to make every decision in my life. And God, I stop pretending I can do it alone. I um I really appreciate being here this weekend with you guys. This is one of the greatest honors that I can be given is being asked to present. Um I pulled into the parking lot yesterday and I received some news about a loved one who helped raise me that passed away yesterday morning. And uh all of the work that I've done preparing for this step, I thought it was pretty funny that I had the opportunity to choose between fear and faith in the parking lot yesterday. I thought that was a pretty unique way of uh proving to me that there are no coincidences in this thing, guys. I can't do it alone. And humbly I ask for help. Thank you guys for your time, and uh please join me in the Lord's Prayer.