How's it going, everybody? My name's Scott C. Scott Callahan. I am an alcoholic. It's a great day to be sober. Yes, it is. Okay, um, let's begin with a moment of silence for the still suffering alcoholic, followed by the serenity prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. All the wisdom. First of all, I'd like to say thank you to my sponsee. Um, I appreciate you pulling the alarm, but it didn't work. That's good service work. My sobriety date is September 18th, 2020. My home group is the Winter Circle at Suburban North Club. I have a sponsor. His name is Big Daddy Steve. He has a sponsor, his name is Mark M. Mark M has a sponsor, his name is Frank G. Frank G has a sponsor because he sponsors Mark M. Love you, Mark. Um, I'd like to thank Ryan, Bryce, Jeff, and Robert for putting this all together. It's a lot of work that goes into this gentleman. Thank you very much, and I appreciate the honor if we give a round of applause with that guy. When Bryce asked me to give a speech on uh step 10, I was completely and totally honored by it. When we were on the phone as soon as we hung up, I thought, step 10, awesome. And then I said the three words that no alcoholic is supposed to say. I got this. I do not got this. I do not got this. But I'm proud to be here, and I'm proud that to be of service. Um, before I got up here today, before all the excitement of the fire alarm, I told Todd before he gave the six-step um speech, I said, Hey, leave a little meat on the bones up there for me. And then Todd got up here and did two minutes of mother-in-law jokes and killed. So I'm gonna have to stick to step 10. Step 10, continue to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admit it. It's a short step, but it's one of the most demanding ones because it asks us to live the program in real time. Not someday, not when things get bad, but right now, today, in the middle of life, as it's happening. This step for me is about keeping my side of the street clean. I've heard this said and I believe it. One through three is I can't, he can, I decided I'll let him. Steps four through nine are cleaning up the wreckage of our past and helping us prepare for the future. And step ten through twelve are our maintenance and the way for a design of life moving forward. The big book says, um, the big book says, we have entered the world of the spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. That's step 10. It's not about perfection, it's about staying awake, staying honest, staying connected. When I first got sober, I thought the big danger was drinking. But over time I learned that the real danger is untreated emotions. Resentment, fear, self-pity, judgment, and the stories I tell myself about other people. Emotional sobriety is the daily work of step 10. The 12 and 12 says the emotional hangover is the direct result of yesterday's excesses of negative emotion. That is underlined in my book because I know exactly what it feels like to wake up sober but spiritually hung over. Angry, tense, defensive, or ashamed. Step 10 is how I prevent that, or at least shorten it. I want to read a page from the 12 and 12, or a page, yeah, page 90 from the 12 and 12. I have this whole paragraph highlighted. It's a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule? What about justifiable anger? If somebody cheats us, are we entitled to be mad? Can't we be properly angry, the self-righteous folk? For us of AA, these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that the justified anger ought to be left to those that are qualified to handle it. This brings me to emotional sobriety. Emotional sobriety is the ability to feel feelings without being controlled by them. It's the ability to pause instead of to react. It's the ability to, it's the ability to say, I might be wrong, even when I'm convinced I'm right. Or maybe you're right, because feelings aren't facts. This doesn't mean that we cause the situation. It means the disturbance inside us is what needs attention. The big book says love and tolerance of others is our code. That's emotional sobriety in a sentence. But here's the truth. I didn't and I don't always naturally love and tolerate people. I naturally judge them. I naturally assume I know their motives. I naturally think that I'm right. Lately, I've developed the case of the I told you so's. That is not good spirit. Step 10 interrupts that those thought processes. Because the truth is, I don't know anything. I don't control anything or anybody but my own actions. I know I have to let go and let God. Step 10 reminds me that all people are frequently wrong and doing the best that they can, and that's including me. Especially me. My grandsponsor said this in a meeting one time. He said, I try to assume all people are trying to do their best. And I uh I take that with me. Sometimes I look at people and I say, Don't do your best, do my best. That's not the spirit of step 10. So it the step 10 reminds me, um, in most cases, it's the two by four rule. They are doing it to me, they are not doing it to me, they are doing it for themselves. When I remember that, I soften, I breathe, I stopped trying to win, I stopped trying to control outcomes, I stopped trying to rewrite reality to match my expectations. One of the hardest parts of step ten for me is promptness. I tell you that promptness is the part I still struggle with in step 10, and I don't invite it, I don't mind admitting I'm wrong eventually, but promptly, that's where my ego digs in. I can feel that little voice saying, let me think about this for a while. Maybe they were more wrong than I was. And by the time I finish that internal debate, the moment has passed and the damage is already done. And the 12 and 12, it reminds us it's a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. For me, the delay between being disturbed and being my part is where I get into trouble. That delay is where resentment grows, where stories get rewritten, and where emotional sobriety slips. So, what do I do to fix that? For me, it comes down to three things. First, I have to notice the disturbance sooner. If I feel that tightening in my chest, that defensiveness, that urge to prove something, that's my cue. That's the moment to pause and ask, what's my part now? Second, I have to use the tools immediately, not later. I have an inventory app that I'll show you later that I use at night. Or if I can take 60 seconds to write down who I'm resentful at and what fear is driving me, I can usually see the truth quickly. That the uh the app that I use doesn't care about my pride, it just shows me my patterns. Third, I have to take the next right action before my ego talks me out of it. Sometimes that means I need to send a quick text, hey, I'm sorry. Hey, I was short with you earlier, that's on me. Sometimes it means walking into the next room and owning my part. Sometimes it means praying for willingness because I don't want to do any of those things. Promptness isn't about rushing, it's about not letting the ego build the case. It's about staying spiritually current. When I act quickly, I stay free. When I delay, I get tangled up again and again and again. For me, the hardest part isn't admitting that I'm wrong, it's admitting that I'm wrong promptly. I can admit that I'm wrong eventually, but promptly, that's where my ego is fighting. Step 10 shows up in the small moments. You know, um when I snap at someone because I'm tired, hungry, lonely, halt, some of you might have heard. Um, when I assume someone's intentions without asking, when I reply, uh when I replay a conversation in my head and rewrite myself as the hero. When I feel the surge of resentment that says they should have known better. Those are the step 10 moments. Those are the moments where I now pause, breathe, and I ask, what's really going on with me? What is my part in this? What fear is driving this? What story am I telling myself? And what's the next right action? And sometimes the next right action is an apology, sometimes it's a conversation, sometimes it's letting it go. Sometimes it's simply admitting the truth to myself. I talked a little bit about the inventory app, and Aaron's not here, but um, there's a great app and it's from the um everything AA app. And um on this it has a daily reflections. Oh no, I'm sorry, it has the uh nightly review and gratitude list. It looks like this. When Bryce asked me to do the to do this, um, I got I had had this before, but I hadn't been using it. Thank you for letting me know that I was not doing a good step 10. Um, it's way more difficult when you do it day after day, and I wish Aaron was here because he did it for a year straight, and he said that it was eye-opening, and it has changed the way that I go about doing things by doing a daily inventory, and I do it at night. Um, it has exposed some things for me that I really need to work on, and it can only benefit my program, the people that I love, and the people that I help and unservice to. Step 10 gives me freedom because it keeps me from building new resentments, it keeps me from drifting back into old patterns, and it keeps me spiritually awake. The big book says when we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, that's the promise of step 10. When I'm doing this work, I don't have to fight life. I don't have to fight people, I don't have to fight myself. I can live in the present moment with humility, honesty, and grace. Step 10 isn't a one-time event, it's a rhythm, it's a habit, it's a way of living. In closing, step 10 is how I stay connected to God, to myself, and to the people around me. It's how I stay honest, it's how I stay free, it's how I stay sober. I do not do it perfectly. I don't think anyone does, but when I do it consistently, that consistency has improved my life. Because when I practice step 10, I'm not just avoiding a drink, I'm becoming the person that God intended me to be. I love AA. I love the twelve steps. I love being of service. AA saved my life. I thank you all for your time and thank you for letting me share.